multi-masking

This is the song that’s been making me cry all week:

… I dunno what is.

I started watching “Scent of a Woman” after seeing ABS-CBN plug it among the other Kdramas they air because the storyline somewhat intrigued me. Oh yeah, and because Lee Dong-wook was in it. Anyways, just to give a brief synopsis: Lee Yeon-jae (Kim Seon-ah) has been diagnosed with cancer, with only 6 months left to live. She then creates a 20-item bucket list of the things she wants to accomplish before she dies. Funny thing is that, all her life (or maybe at least the 10 years that she’d been working for the travel agency Line Tours), she’s been a wallflower, and not to mention an old maid, but her life unexpectedly makes a turn for the better. She musters her courage to pursue the man she likes, dotes herself on stuff she’d skipped on just because she wanted to save as much money as she can, and gets a whole new perspective on how to live her life.

Over the week I spent watching this drama, I’d also thought hard if I’ve been living my life to the fullest. I know I’m not healthy and I don’t really practice a healthy lifestyle, so I know there’s a big chance I might not live it up to even 75. Just recently I’ve tried to be more mature with regards to mapping out my future, mostly on the financial side. In the past, my future never really mattered to me. While people my age would be busy planning businesses, or saving up for cars and houses, I was just chilling. There were even times when I lived from one paycheck to another, because I knew that as long as I could provide a little amount for my family and pay the bills and live on my transportation money, I’d get by just fine. I woke up one day with the desire to up my level of financial maturity, but after watching this drama, I think I shouldn’t be too hard on myself.

These days, life seems to be getting better and better for me. There’s just so much to do each day. Everything can meet halfway, so why not live responsibly one day at a time?

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image credits: Koreandrama.org

Funny how as a friend, everybody seems to have a unique role. There will always be that person you go to for great advice. In the same way, there will always be that person you feel protective of and love to shower with pearls of wisdom. There’s that one fellow you go to to share your stories, but there’s also a different person to regal you with their own stories. There’s that person you love because they get a kick out of doing little things for you, and another one who makes you appreciate the gift of giving.

There are more classic niches, too. That one person who makes you and your other friends laugh. That one person who you enjoy picking on. That one person who is your shock absorber. That one person who sees you as a trusted confidante. That one person you love getting wasted with. That one person who’s the best shopping and/or food trip buddy. That one person who updates you with everything. That one person you update with everything.

I’m just wondering, do friends really have to be categorized? Has the word friend really lost its true meaning and is now just merely a cliche? I tried googling the definition and was amazed at how it took me this long to really wonder at how the word “friend” is being literally defined by the top dictionary sites.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/friend

1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem
b : acquaintance

2 a : one that is not hostile
b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group

3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)

4 : a favored companion

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/friend

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/friend

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement

And then I came across UrbanDictionary.com and found a bunch of very interesting answers:

For Jimbo:
A real friend is someone who:

a)it’s okay to fart in front of.
b)you don’t mind talking to on the bus for atleast 20 minutes.
c)can borrow $5 and never has to pay it back
d)you’ll actually call up do stuff.

Bob: “Hey Jim, you wanna go see a show downtown”
Jim: “Sorry man, I’m broke, and how are we gonna get there.”
Bob: “No problem, I’ll lend you the 5 bucks and we’ll take the bus.”
Jim: “Yeah, okay” (loud farting sound)
Bob: “Whoah! That was a good one!

Ergo, Bob and Jim are friends.

For Mercury GM:
A person who would never intentionally hurt you, lie to you, deceive you, manipulate you, abuse you and who takes great care to be kind to you, honest with you, dependable and loyal. Someone who you trust without question because they have never given you any reason not to trust them. Someone you enjoy being around and look forward to seeing. Someone who would sacrifice themself for you.

For tangles10:
A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.

A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn’t mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.

A friend is someone who not only doesn’t care if you’re ugly or boring, but doesn’t even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don’t know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you’re being stupid, but who doesn’t make you feel stupid.

A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don’t even think about who’s talking or who’s listening in a conversation with a friend.

A friend is someone for whom you’re willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn’t matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.

A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower.

For LovelyLivia:
A friend is someone who knows you but loves you anyway.

For Anurag Sinha:
A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. A person who would never intentionally hurt you, lie to you, deceive you, manipulate you, and who takes great care to be kind to you, honest with you, dependable and loyal. Someone who you trust without question because he/she has never given you any reason not to trust. Someone you enjoy being around and look forward to seeing. Someone who would sacrifice him/herself for you.

For little dipper:
“a kindred spirit. Someone who is born with a similar molecular structure as yourself and therefore interprets life through similar alien eyes thereby living on the same alien plane that you do.”

For Loduwijk:
n. a person whom you can trust with nearly any information and count on to help you out of a difficult situation, also gives advice to help you avoid making a mess of your life; many people are considered to be friends, but few truly are.

For Richard Blade:
One who you never sleep with. EVER.

For kayla c.:
A person who is kind,caring,so close to you that they can finish your thoughts.A person who will drive for two days and two nights just to help you out when you need them.They dont ask what is in it for them they just do it because they love you.

For xxRubyHeartzBrandonxx:
A friend is someone that can make you laugh, at any point in time
She/He will always care about you even if you have a huge argument

For CeciliasNightingale:
1.) A person who is a close personal aquaintence

2.) A person whom you know, like and trust

3.) A person who will gladly accept your call at 3:00am to hang out and talk about random nonsensical things.

4.) Someone to whom you are loyal to, and who in turn is loyal to you.

5.) Someone who can be honest enough with you to let you know when you’re acting like a complete idiot.

6.) A person with whom you gladly create mischief.

7.) Someone to whom you can speak a completly nonsensical sentence to and will fully comprehend it.

For maidenofthemoor:
A friend is someone with whom you share the fondest of memories….but those that only you will understand …. exchanging mugs of coffee three doors down, a time share cat named Joseph, on the road telephone conversations into the night,cooking Christmas turkey, tequila shooters, and When Harry Met Sally.

A friend is someone that you can snuggle into on the couch and laugh and cry and talk, or do nothing at all.

A friend is someone who is honored with the title of best friend and will always hold it, even though circumstances change around them, time grows scarce, lives grow busy, minds grow forgetful and the opportunities for that closeness are not as available anymore.

A friend breathes deeper and diverse meanings into the word love.

A friend is someone who is always held close in the heart no matter the distance between three houses.

For kaekae:
a friend is someone who should always be there for you, care about you, make you laugh, and knows how to make you feel better when your down.

when a friendship ends or you grow apart from a friend, it can hurt almost more than anything. like a non romantic “break up”. it sucks.

For skez:
person of your acquaintance with a particular trait which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealling

For Suburban Decay:
An ambiguous term implying various degrees of emotional, physical, and imaginative closeness.

For shortkite24:
That guy who can act like an ass and a week later you both are at the bar together. That guy who can see you at your worst and tomorrow you’ll be shooting hoops with him. That’s a friend.

For DLG:
A thing that people often fantasize to truly exist, although people only have friends for selfish reasons, and think little or nothing of what the “friend” wants. “True friends” are a fantasy.

The contribution list goes on and on — I only got up to page 5 and to tell you honestly, it’s over 12 pages long. Personally, I loved the last three definitions for some inexplicable reason. In any case, going through these inputs made me partially understand the reason behind the stereotyping within friendships.

It appears that indeed, the perfect friend does not exist at all. I’m guessing that’s the reason why we call our best friends best friends and not perfect friends — it kinda sounds off too, don’t you think? Maybe just like in a relationship where the couple is supposed to complement each other instead of merely being a reflection of each other, friends have individual roles because they are several pieces of a puzzle who need each other in order to be complete.

It’s been weeks, maybe even months since I last “stalked” you. I’ve never felt more estranged from anyone ever, but at the same time, I’ve never felt this free.

Although, I have to admit… I don’t think I’ve ever missed you this much.

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. (Paolo Coelho, “The Alchemist”)

The last time my friend Justin and I hung out, he said something similar. That somehow, things always end up working to his advantage. When people close him don’t tell him things he should be aware of, he ends up finding out about them anyways.

It’s definitely been a while since I last felt the universe was truly helping me achieve my dreams, to the point that I felt it was punishing me because, well, I don’t know. Maybe I felt too blissful about everything and I kept wanting for more, and that was why the universe seemed to give up on me for the meantime.

Today though, it looks like the universe took pity on me and gave me two reasons to smile today. It made me realize, no matter what aspirations I had in life, what goals I set, what dreams I set my heart on, it all boils down to one thing: I only want to be happy. If I keep it that simple, I guess the universe will never leave my side.

Mom and I both woke up late — and to set the record straight, I was even the one who woke her up. With Tuesday as coding day, there was no way we’d make it in time for the carpool so I had no choice but to commute.

Everyone close to me at work knows how much I hate commuting, and that includes walking from Robinson’s Galleria to Unionbank Plaza. Today was worse because I had no choice but to get off at SM Megamall just to save a few precious minutes that would just be wasted by the congested bus lanes from Mega to Galleria. Don’t get me wrong, I love walking and its nice therapeutic effect. But when I’m on a brisk pace, panting under the heat of the sun (I also love the sun, I really do, but not under these circumstances) just so I can get my attendance bonus, I can get really, really, really cranky.

So there I was, crossing intersections as fast as I could with all those uncooperative vehicles trying to keep me from my goal, with the sun beating on me, thinking of how lost I was without my carpool, when at the corner of my eye, I saw something sparkle.

My arm.

I looked some more and the golden dust particles on my arm were shimmering under the sun. And whaddayaknow? I instantly felt good.

Whoever formulated this has got to be a genius.

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image credits: thaipants @ ebay

Most of the time, the sweetest dreams dissolve into the bleakest mornings.

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image credits: cdnimg.visualizeus.com

It feels like the walls are caving in on me.

I really hate this feeling.